yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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