i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Randomize
