I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
