I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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