stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
