i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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