Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
