I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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