How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
honey bunches of taint.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
