your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
