chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
