Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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