I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
