This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
