Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Randomize
