Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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