life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
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