She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
