Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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