how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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