were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
