can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
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