I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
