First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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