jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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