I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
We named our party play list daddy issues
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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