FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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