Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
