Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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