so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
