My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
