Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
do herpes really smell.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
There's always time for handjobs
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
