Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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