If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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