i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
