She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
