fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
