By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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