I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
