In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Your cock deserves a montage
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize
