just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
