Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
