I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
