How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
