guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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