Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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