the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
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