Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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