Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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