dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
