R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
