sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
