You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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