Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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