It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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